Archive for the ‘Fun Stuff’ Category

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” -Woody Allen

“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.” -Woody Allen

“A good conscience is a continual Christmas.” -Benjamin Franklin

“If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.” -Kurt Vonnegut

“We should live our lives as though Christ were coming this afternoon.” -Jimmy Carter

“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.” -Louis Hector Berlioz

“Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world’s oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing – Gary Coleman is going to drown.” -Conan O’Brien

“A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.” -Groucho Marx

“My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down. But there’s more old drunks than there are old doctors so let’s all have another round.” -Willie Nelson

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” -Woody Allen

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” -Warren Buffett

“Tell the truth. Sing with passion. Work with laughter. Love with heart. ‘Cause that’s all that matters in the end.” -Kris Kristofferson